<Welcome to the Marriage Introduction Agency> Is Real Marriage Possible? [6]

That kind of person is okay, right?

Actually, on the contrary, I've been rejected a lot.

Surprisingly, I was often rejected because my height was too imposing,

“Didn't you wear high heels, unni?”

“No. I wore these.”

“Forget it, throw away that ugly hobbit.”

My younger sibling comforted me after I returned home, rejected after wearing 3cm flats.

I've also been rejected for not dressing well, and for being nice but not appealing.

Every time, my pride was hurt, but I took it as a learning experience and improved myself both internally and externally.

A friend's friend. An acquaintance's college classmate. A relative's sister's husband's successor. A friend's husband's college classmate.

I gathered all my connections, including the ghosts of those I barely knew, for blind dates, but I'm already 32.

After the golden age of my life, when men flocked to me just by brushing past, surprisingly, the introductions stopped.

Until now, I hadn't shown my family, it was a matter of pride.

But thinking about it, it's unfair, isn't it?

“Mom, my friends' parents are constantly urging them to meet this person and that person.

Aren't you two too indifferent to me?”

It's good to let me figure things out on my own. It's something I should be very grateful for.

But couldn't you at least discreetly look around? I felt a little hurt.

“The person who manages your father's insurance, he has a son who's so nice and reliable, apparently? His family is ordinary, so that's good.

He's the same age as you. Want to meet him?”

It had been a while since I'd been on a blind date, so my fighting spirit was high, and I was excited.

And when we met, we talked well. His appearance, personality, and hobbies were all average.

He was an ordinary, average person in every aspect that I had been yearning for.

To my complaints that it's hard to meet people after turning 30,

He said that men also find it difficult to meet people after 30 and actively pursued me.

As the season transitioned from scorching sunlight to gentle warmth, we ended our ambiguous relationship and officially started dating.

But I...

Didn't feel excited at all.

Maybe it's because I'm getting older. At this age, what's so exciting about dating?

Let's say my love cells have dried up because I haven't been in a relationship for so long.

But still.

Shouldn't I naturally be happy and joyful when I'm with someone I like?

While on a date, I watched him smile happily at my words and thought,

‘You're lucky to be that happy.’

At that moment, I realized something was terribly wrong.

“That kind of person is okay.” My friends and family all said in unison.

He's a good person overall, so try to make it work. Stop nitpicking and focus on his strengths.

“You'll be 35 soon!”

My mom yelled that if I kept being so picky, I wouldn't meet anyone.

It's right to meet someone like this who's so good. I repeated it like a mantra.

I kept experiencing indigestion and poor health. At first, I thought it was just indigestion.

I had no appetite, and since I couldn't digest anything, I lost over 3kg in three weeks.

My stamina also decreased, and my hands started trembling.

I got scared when I didn't get better even after seeing a doctor and taking medication.

Something was definitely wrong with my body. They say stomach cancer is common among young people these days.

I took a day off and made a reservation at a large hospital for an endoscopy.

“It's clean. Usually, there's some inflammation in the stomach, but as you can see, there's nothing.”

“But why is she like this?”

“Well... I can only say it's due to mental stress.”

It was supposed to be a sleep endoscopy, but I heard the doctor and my mom's conversation in my sleep.

Mental stress.

That was more shocking than a serious illness.

I was surprised that my body could deteriorate so much due to stress alone, without any other problems.

“Is my sister-in-law wanting to date or get married?”

My brother-in-law called because he was curious about my worries and asked me cautiously.

“From what I've seen, it seems like my sister-in-law wants to date?”

But she keeps trying to meet someone to marry, so isn't it difficult for her?”

“…….”

“It's the same with dating. When you don't see him, do you miss him, and do you get excited when you prepare to meet him?”

“No”

“Then that's the wrong order. Even if you don't want to see him every day, you should get excited and feel good when you meet him.”

“I'm not impulsive, and I'm always out of sync with the other person.”

“Then don't try to match him, just follow your own heart.”

“People can have different ways of liking people.”

“You can try to put in the effort because you like that person, right? But it doesn't seem like you're trying to like that person.

I don't want my sister-in-law to put in that kind of effort.”

It felt like I'd been hit on the head.

All this time, I'd been trying to like him because he was a good enough person.

But when I couldn't develop feelings for him, my body suffered from the stress of ‘not being able to like someone who is good enough.’

I had to make a decision before it was too late.

A cafe in the furthest corner at the entrance of Konkuk University on a weekend afternoon.

He held my hand tightly as I looked into his eyes and calmly explained the situation.

“Can't I do better? I don't mind if it takes longer.”

He kept stroking the back of my hand, trying to hide his slightly trembling hand.

“I'm sorry. I don't think it'll change even if time passes.”

“Really... is there no way?”

“There's nothing wrong or bad that you've done, so don't blame yourself by thinking, ‘What did I do wrong?’

It's just... my feelings stop here.”

“I wish I hadn't confessed so soon.”

“I'm sorry.”

“I can't help it. Thank you for being honest.”

“I'll leave first today. Thank you for everything.”

I listened to a song on the subway back home after having a movie-like breakup.

A song that people say is perhaps the saddest song in the world.

It was Urban Zakapa's <I Don't Love You>.